I had my lap yesterday morning. Monday I had to do the dreaded bowel prep, which to be honest, wasn't that bad. It just left me grumpy and hungry. Man I wanted a cheeseburger so badly!
Yesterday was an early start to the day, my admission time was 7am and after just a few hours sleep we were up and on the way to the hospital. I checked in, paid the insurance excess and went into pre-op quite quickly.
When they took my blood pressure I was sure it was going to be sky high, but it wasn't, it was normal. My blood pressure tends to get high when I'm in pain or anxious or even hungry so that was a pleasant surprise to find it was well within the normal range. Then I said good bye to my hubby (who went home for a well deserved nap) and I went off to get changed into a fetching paper gown with matching underwear and cap. Then the nurse helped me into the oh-so-sexy pressure stockings and tucked me in to bed with a heated blanket, while I waited for my turn to be wheeled to the theatre.
The anesthesiologist met with me while I was waiting. I explained about my fear of vomiting and that last time I felt incredibly ill after my surgery. He assured me that he doesn't use the gas as that tends to make people wake up sick. He also made a note in my chart so that I'd receive some anti-nausea medication in my drip when I started to come around.
Next thing I know they were wheeling me into the theatre, one person was putting a blood pressure cuff on my arm and another putting in a drip. Last thing I remember is being told that they were putting in the medication to relax me and then I woke up in recovery.
The nurse who looked after me in recovery was worth her weight in gold! I was in quite a lot of pain but couldn't get the words out, but she recognised my mumbling straight away and soon got my pain under control. It was like the worst period cramps, times 10. I know I asked her if I had a catheter about three times, it was a relief to find out I didn't have one! I also remember Dr S coming around to see me, I just heard his voice and felt him patting me on the foot. But I have no clue what he said.
They moved me into my room and then soon after my husband turned up to check on me. Visiting hours had just ended so he only stayed for about 20mins to make sure I was settled before heading home again. Poor guy, he got to see me at my worst, when the nurses changed me out of my gown and into my own pjs. I even had to use the bathroom in front of him and the nurses. I never ever do that. I can't even go if the door is open, but I was too groggy to care. I do remember cracking a joke to him as I was waking up. Something along the lines of "I went to sleep with underwear on and woke up without them!"
The worst thing was not being able to get up and pee on my own. I had a drain and a drip so each time I had to pee, I had to buzz the nurse so she would come and unhook me so I could get up. The period type pain didn't last too long. It turned more into a deep, nearly muscular, kind of ache.
I was just dozing off when they brought in my roommate. There was a mix up with my dinner and I didn't get my meal even though I'd ordered it that morning. In the end they scrounged up a stale sandwich (egg! yuck!) for me but I wound up calling my hubby to bring me a ham and cheese toasted sandwich from subway and some cookies. Not only did he arrive with subway, but he also bought me a gorgeous little teddy bear from the giftshop, which made me all teary. He's such a sweetie!
I was just eating subway when Dr S arrived at about 7.30pm. I hadn't expected him to visit so late. He told me there was extensive endo which he removed, as well as removing the large cysts on my left ovary. But he didn't have to take the left tube. That was the best news! What had shown up on the ultrasound was actually a cyst, not a fluid filled tube.
I had a bit of a rough night the nurses were in and out all night taking my obs and my roommates. I had to ask for top up painkillers a few times too. Then there was problems with my drip and I had to pee all the damn time but the nurses were busy so I'd have to wait and by then my bladder would be super full causing more pain. And around 4am I woke with a shocking headache so had to ask for panadol. I think it was a caffeine withdrawal headache, hubby had bought me a diet coke with my subway so I had some of that with my panadol and it went away pretty quickly.
I gave up trying to sleep around 5am. I was due to be discharged at 9am, hubby arrived just before 9 just as Dr S came around to check in on me. He spoke to hubby and I and explained he'll go into more detail at our follow up appointment next Friday, and show us the photos of what he found and did. He checked out my four incisions and asked how the pain was, then gave the go ahead for the nurse to remove my drip and drain and send me home!
It took a while to get the discharge papers sorted out, but we were home just before lunch. With a quick detour to Maccas so I could get my cheeseburger and iced coffee. I swear, it was the best damn cheeseburger I've ever eaten.
I'm hobbling around ok, but getting up from the lounge or bed is a struggle. I know my husband had planned on going back to work tomorrow but at this stage I'm going to need him home to help me out. Luckily work is a little bit quiet, he's been working on a big project that's due to be released in the next two weeks but there's been a delay which is good timing, he'll probably work from home tomorrow just to help me out a bit. Once I'm up I'm ok, but it's getting up that's the problem.
I had a nap this afternoon and then we ducked out to the chemist. One of my dressings is starting to lift up and another is looking a bit icky so I needed to get some more. I learnt my lesson from last time I had a lap, get the easy to remove dressings! They're more expensive but are so worth it.
My worst pain is coming from my belly button, it feels seriously messed up. I haven't looked at it yet, Last time my belly button incision took a long time to heal. I'm not sure if the pain is cos of the scar tissue or the incision is bigger or what. I do have a bit of muscular pain too, any time I use my core muscles I feel it! I don't have any bruising this time round, just a few tiny marks near my left incision. Last time I was covered in bruises, but I didn't have as many incision sites last time either.
I'm glad this hurdle is over. The next step is hearing which way forward Dr S wants to go, I'm pretty sure it'll be IUI seeing as I got to keep my tube. Then it really gets serious. I'm getting close to our first cycle which is closer to pregnancy and motherhood. It would be truly wonderful to be pregnant before the end of the year!
Wednesday, 31 July 2013
Monday, 29 July 2013
The day before
Tomorrow is my lap. I'm a bit anxious about it, I had a super busy weekend with a family lunch on Saturday for my brothers birthday. I'd made him a cake (which took all of Friday to do, but it turned out well!) and it was a good distraction.
Then on Sunday I got stuck into the washing. I put a few slow cooker meals together and froze them. So all hubby has to do is take them straight from the freezer and put them in the slow cooker and dinner is done. I also made his lunches for the week, I usually cook a pasta or casserole dish and freeze it into single portions, he takes these to work and by lunch time they're defrosted and he just has to heat them for a few mins.
But now it's Monday, the day before my surgery. I'm all on edge and upset. I came close to tears twice before hubby left for work. I think what I'm dreading most is the bowel prep (urgh, it does not sound pleasent!) and then waking up after the surgery.
Last time I came out of anesthesia I was really ill and nauseated. I have a huge fear of vomiting and feeling sick. I'm not looking forward to that part at all.
I also carry my stress and tension in my neck and back. I've been waking up with really bad neck and shoulder pain the last few nights. To the point where it takes me a good 10 mins to be able to get up and move freely, as I can barely move my arms and neck. And that's with my little nest of pillows, how much pain am I going to be in when I wake up from the anesthesia? Or after spending the night in a hospital bed?
It doesn't help that my husband keeps talking about how he's going to spend his time off work, as if he's taking a mini holiday. It's not a holiday! It's time off to look after and support me through surgery. I keep telling him that it's not like dropping relatives off at the airport, you don't get to kick me out of the car in the drop off zone at the hospital.
I need him there to tell me it's going to be ok, to look after me and make sure I'm ok. I'm not normally clingy and needy like this, usually I'm pretty independent. When I'm sick, I just want to be left alone until I'm better. But I know from past experience that I'm not like that after anesthesia. I wake up and feel sick and weepy for a few days afterwards. It turns me into a big emotional wreck.
In a few days time this will all be over with. I'll have had my surgery and will be at home resting and recovering. But for now I'm stressing out and worrying about everything.
Then on Sunday I got stuck into the washing. I put a few slow cooker meals together and froze them. So all hubby has to do is take them straight from the freezer and put them in the slow cooker and dinner is done. I also made his lunches for the week, I usually cook a pasta or casserole dish and freeze it into single portions, he takes these to work and by lunch time they're defrosted and he just has to heat them for a few mins.
But now it's Monday, the day before my surgery. I'm all on edge and upset. I came close to tears twice before hubby left for work. I think what I'm dreading most is the bowel prep (urgh, it does not sound pleasent!) and then waking up after the surgery.
Last time I came out of anesthesia I was really ill and nauseated. I have a huge fear of vomiting and feeling sick. I'm not looking forward to that part at all.
I also carry my stress and tension in my neck and back. I've been waking up with really bad neck and shoulder pain the last few nights. To the point where it takes me a good 10 mins to be able to get up and move freely, as I can barely move my arms and neck. And that's with my little nest of pillows, how much pain am I going to be in when I wake up from the anesthesia? Or after spending the night in a hospital bed?
It doesn't help that my husband keeps talking about how he's going to spend his time off work, as if he's taking a mini holiday. It's not a holiday! It's time off to look after and support me through surgery. I keep telling him that it's not like dropping relatives off at the airport, you don't get to kick me out of the car in the drop off zone at the hospital.
I need him there to tell me it's going to be ok, to look after me and make sure I'm ok. I'm not normally clingy and needy like this, usually I'm pretty independent. When I'm sick, I just want to be left alone until I'm better. But I know from past experience that I'm not like that after anesthesia. I wake up and feel sick and weepy for a few days afterwards. It turns me into a big emotional wreck.
In a few days time this will all be over with. I'll have had my surgery and will be at home resting and recovering. But for now I'm stressing out and worrying about everything.
Sunday, 14 July 2013
Lost for words
I've been working this week, on Monday afternoon I got a call asking if I was available to take a 5 day contract with a year 2 class. It's the same class I worked with a lot last year when they were in year 1.
I wasn't expecting to pick up work during the first week of term, nor was I expecting to pick up a contract! To be honest, I thought that this month and most of next month would be out for work, what with all the medical, dental and surgery appointments I've got going on.
This particular school I work at is over an hours drive away, there are tonnes of schools near where I live, but in my region there is a flood of new graduate teachers looking for casual supply work thanks to the two universities nearby. The next region over is a lot more rural and I get called in to work at this school a fair bit.
It also happens to be closer to my parents and family, so if I have to make a trip out there I'll try and time it for a day I'm working as I'm only 45mins away from them.
On Friday I knew I'd be able to get away from work early because we had the annual sports day at work. My husband had built a computer for my parents office so I made plans to drop it off.
It was about 4.30pm by the time I got to mum's office. I walked in through the roller door and headed towards the office, mum and one of the night shift employees were there talking. I dropped the box on the the counter and went to join them.
I said hi to mum and she turned to me and said "we were just talking about grandkids. J. keeps saying they're so expensive with all the latest toys they want. I told him I wouldn't know because neither you or your brother have given me any yet."
I was lost for words. All I could think was "YOU think they're expensive? You're not the one going through thousands of dollars of medical procedures to have them."
Then I got cranky. My parents are the only family members we've told about our infertility struggles. I confided in them, they know I'm having a lap later on this month. I had to walk away from mum and J. I used the excuse of getting a drink out of the fridge in the kitchen.
By the time I came back J had left and mum had no clue she'd said anything wrong.
It took a while for me to set up her computer, I had to back up a few programs on the old machine and load them onto the new one. By this stage it was just her and I left at the office. While we were waiting she asked about my surgery, I explained how one of my fallopian tubes is blocked and she asked "is that because you've had an ectopic pregnancy? Were you pregnant and didn't tell us?" I just said no and changed the subject.
It wasn't until I got home that what she'd said really hit home. Through my tears I told my husband what mum had said. He tried to reassure me that she didn't mean it, that it was a case of her putting her foot in her mouth. But that just made me cry harder.
I feel broken. Physically broken because my body can't do what it's supposed to be. Mentally broken because I no longer have the strength to deal with my insensitive family. Some days I just want to hide away with my husband and cats and pretend this isn't real.
I wasn't expecting to pick up work during the first week of term, nor was I expecting to pick up a contract! To be honest, I thought that this month and most of next month would be out for work, what with all the medical, dental and surgery appointments I've got going on.
This particular school I work at is over an hours drive away, there are tonnes of schools near where I live, but in my region there is a flood of new graduate teachers looking for casual supply work thanks to the two universities nearby. The next region over is a lot more rural and I get called in to work at this school a fair bit.
It also happens to be closer to my parents and family, so if I have to make a trip out there I'll try and time it for a day I'm working as I'm only 45mins away from them.
On Friday I knew I'd be able to get away from work early because we had the annual sports day at work. My husband had built a computer for my parents office so I made plans to drop it off.
It was about 4.30pm by the time I got to mum's office. I walked in through the roller door and headed towards the office, mum and one of the night shift employees were there talking. I dropped the box on the the counter and went to join them.
I said hi to mum and she turned to me and said "we were just talking about grandkids. J. keeps saying they're so expensive with all the latest toys they want. I told him I wouldn't know because neither you or your brother have given me any yet."
I was lost for words. All I could think was "YOU think they're expensive? You're not the one going through thousands of dollars of medical procedures to have them."
Then I got cranky. My parents are the only family members we've told about our infertility struggles. I confided in them, they know I'm having a lap later on this month. I had to walk away from mum and J. I used the excuse of getting a drink out of the fridge in the kitchen.
By the time I came back J had left and mum had no clue she'd said anything wrong.
It took a while for me to set up her computer, I had to back up a few programs on the old machine and load them onto the new one. By this stage it was just her and I left at the office. While we were waiting she asked about my surgery, I explained how one of my fallopian tubes is blocked and she asked "is that because you've had an ectopic pregnancy? Were you pregnant and didn't tell us?" I just said no and changed the subject.
It wasn't until I got home that what she'd said really hit home. Through my tears I told my husband what mum had said. He tried to reassure me that she didn't mean it, that it was a case of her putting her foot in her mouth. But that just made me cry harder.
I feel broken. Physically broken because my body can't do what it's supposed to be. Mentally broken because I no longer have the strength to deal with my insensitive family. Some days I just want to hide away with my husband and cats and pretend this isn't real.
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