I'm starting to get a few signs that my period is just around the corner. I'm quite anxious about it arriving as it means we're starting our first IUI cycle. But at the same time I'm dreading it, because all the injections, scans and blood tests seem overwhelming.
Because I'm overwhelmed and anxious, I turned to google. I've spent at least an hour tonight googling all about Gonal F, Oridrel and IUI. All with various key words like pain, painless, side effects, complications.
Then I fell down the rabbit hole and into youtube. I watched a few women giving themselves their first Gonal F injections, I promptly freaked out. Felt light headed and dizzy. I've watched at least one of these before, I'm subscribed to one vlogger in particular and when she first showed this video I was fine! But rewatching it and knowing that will be me in a few days to a week? Oh boy.
And then it got worse. I watched two educational youtube clips on IUI procedures. At the perfect moment the husband walked over and asked me what I was watching. It was just as the clip showed the catheter being threaded up through the cervix and into the uterus. He tried to reassure me by saying "it'll be fine! They'll give you the good happy drugs for that!" I had to break it to him that no, there'll be no good, happy drugs involved.
It's only just gone 9.30pm at night and I think I've got to close down the computer and go to bed. Before I spend all night googling all sorts of horror stories about IUI and injectables.
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