While I had a few days break from being nauseated, I still had a few bad days. This week it was mostly triggered by strong smells. Tuesday and Wednesday were good days, and Thursday was turning out to be pretty good too. Until I went out to the chemist and did the grocery shopping.
While I was at the chemist, buying more Morning Sickness Relief tablets (slow release ginger and B6) a guy walked past and he smelt awful, body odour, unwashed clothes and poor hygiene. I was just as I was handing over my vitamins and bottle of water to the cashier as he walked by and 5 second later the smell hit me and I gagged. Loudly and violently. The kind of episode where you have no warning, and you're left with tears streaming down your face and feeling embarrassed. (I feel sick just writing about it)
And the poor cashier, she looked horrified. She asked if I was ok, I said I was fine and then went and sat down for a few minutes before drinking some water and tackling the grocery shopping. I shouldn't have done that. I should've gotten back in the car and gone home, because now I could smell everything and I wound up not being able to get half the food on my list because I couldn't walk down some aisles and there was no way I could walk into the produce or meat section.
Heartburn also turned up this week, everything has given me indigestion or heartburn. Even just plain water. And I've had a few breakouts too. I've been battling with dry skin since the weather has turned cooler, my nose and cheeks are dry and flaky but my chin, jaw and neck are breaking out. And my scalp is freaking out, it's gone from being so greasy I need to wash my hair every day to dry and flaky too. My lips are dry and peeling, it can't be from dehydration as I'm drinking 2-3 litres of iced water a day as well as juice with lunch and peppermint tea before bed.
I'm running out of comfy clothes to wear too. I bought some t shirts in a larger size but I'm down to just one of my regular skirts. I have three other skirts that are made of stretchy material that I wear to work, but my casual denim skirts and jeans are getting too tight. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do, I hate paying full price for clothes and maternity clothes are nearly triple what I'm used to spending. I'm cheap when it comes to clothes, I think I'll wait until the NT Scan and then buy one or two pieces. I don't want to buy too much too early.
Speaking of the NT Scan, I booked it! I do the blood test this Friday when I'm 11w4d and then have the actual scan the following Thursday at 12w3d. We'll get the results of the scan on the day, and a dvd. And then the following Monday is my next OB appointment when I'll be 13 weeks.
November seems so far away but at the same time so close!
Monday, 28 April 2014
Monday, 21 April 2014
Week 9
The nausea started to ease this week and I had two days were I felt great! As long as I snacked the second I felt hungry or sick I stayed on top of the nausea. But I also had my first migraine in months. That was not fun.
I sent Tony out to get me a coke and go to the chemist to see if I could still take my usual migraine tablets. Even though I had two pharmacists tell me it was ok to take them, I still felt bad about taking them and then worried even more, which didn't help. It was the day after the confirmation scan and flu shot. I'm pretty sure it was a combination of stressing myself out over the scan, side effects of the flu shot and not drinking nearly enough water while sitting in waiting rooms at the FS/OB and GP.
I'm still on progesterone pessaries every third night, I forgot to ask at my appointment how long I'm on them for. The FS nurses had told me that with some girls Dr S has them stop the pessaries at 9 weeks but with others he likes to wait until after the NT scan. I still have plenty in the fridge but I should ring and ask the midwife at his office just to double check.
This week I also went into a baby and childrens clothing store and actually made a purchase! Not for our baby, but for my niece. Previously I'd avoid any baby stores, I just didn't feel like I belonged or could shop in them. Infertility really makes you question even the smallest of things and walking into that store was just too hard in the past. I just bought two little Easter and bunny themed bibs as an Easter gift, but still, that was a huge step for me.
But I did buy something for our baby, it's the very first purchase I've made. I went on etsy and bought the cutest little yellow booties. They have little yellow duck buttons on them and I plan to use them in our facebook/social media announcement. My husband has been nagging me to announce on facebook for a few weeks now, but I'm a bit too superstitious and I wanted to wait until I was further along. I think I'll still wait a week or two after our next appointment before I go public on facebook.
And my gorgeous mother in law and sister in law gave us a photo frame to put a picture of the scan in. It has the sweetest poem on it and they made me tear up. My mother in law is also knitting a doll for our baby. My grandmother used to knit a lot and made every new baby in the family a knitted doll, when I saw the same pattern she used in a craft store I had to buy it. In the last few years my mother in law has learnt to knit and she offered to knit the doll for us. My grandma passed away a few years ago and it means so much to me that my child will have the same hand knitted doll, made by their grandmother.
Of course, it was Easter this week too! We had lunch with Tony's family on Friday and lunch with my family on Saturday. Low key and uneventful, which was nice. I don't think anyone noticed that I only took the smallest amount of food for lunch, I'm still struggling to eat a full meal.
That reminds me, a few mornings this week I woke up at 5am and was starving! One of those days I felt great, just hungry. I ate a full breakfast, lunch and dinner which surprised me and my husband! But that didn't last and I'm back to snacking.
Sleep wise, I'm waking up a few times a night to get a drink and visit the loo. But I sleep so soundly that it doesn't bother me. I fall asleep pretty quickly and mostly stay asleep. Sometimes I sleep that deeply that I don't even move and I wake up stiff and sore in the same position I fell asleep in.
This week hasn't been too bad but I am really ready for the nausea to go. I'll take heartburn and headaches over the nausea any day.
I sent Tony out to get me a coke and go to the chemist to see if I could still take my usual migraine tablets. Even though I had two pharmacists tell me it was ok to take them, I still felt bad about taking them and then worried even more, which didn't help. It was the day after the confirmation scan and flu shot. I'm pretty sure it was a combination of stressing myself out over the scan, side effects of the flu shot and not drinking nearly enough water while sitting in waiting rooms at the FS/OB and GP.
I'm still on progesterone pessaries every third night, I forgot to ask at my appointment how long I'm on them for. The FS nurses had told me that with some girls Dr S has them stop the pessaries at 9 weeks but with others he likes to wait until after the NT scan. I still have plenty in the fridge but I should ring and ask the midwife at his office just to double check.
This week I also went into a baby and childrens clothing store and actually made a purchase! Not for our baby, but for my niece. Previously I'd avoid any baby stores, I just didn't feel like I belonged or could shop in them. Infertility really makes you question even the smallest of things and walking into that store was just too hard in the past. I just bought two little Easter and bunny themed bibs as an Easter gift, but still, that was a huge step for me.
But I did buy something for our baby, it's the very first purchase I've made. I went on etsy and bought the cutest little yellow booties. They have little yellow duck buttons on them and I plan to use them in our facebook/social media announcement. My husband has been nagging me to announce on facebook for a few weeks now, but I'm a bit too superstitious and I wanted to wait until I was further along. I think I'll still wait a week or two after our next appointment before I go public on facebook.
And my gorgeous mother in law and sister in law gave us a photo frame to put a picture of the scan in. It has the sweetest poem on it and they made me tear up. My mother in law is also knitting a doll for our baby. My grandmother used to knit a lot and made every new baby in the family a knitted doll, when I saw the same pattern she used in a craft store I had to buy it. In the last few years my mother in law has learnt to knit and she offered to knit the doll for us. My grandma passed away a few years ago and it means so much to me that my child will have the same hand knitted doll, made by their grandmother.
Of course, it was Easter this week too! We had lunch with Tony's family on Friday and lunch with my family on Saturday. Low key and uneventful, which was nice. I don't think anyone noticed that I only took the smallest amount of food for lunch, I'm still struggling to eat a full meal.
That reminds me, a few mornings this week I woke up at 5am and was starving! One of those days I felt great, just hungry. I ate a full breakfast, lunch and dinner which surprised me and my husband! But that didn't last and I'm back to snacking.
Sleep wise, I'm waking up a few times a night to get a drink and visit the loo. But I sleep so soundly that it doesn't bother me. I fall asleep pretty quickly and mostly stay asleep. Sometimes I sleep that deeply that I don't even move and I wake up stiff and sore in the same position I fell asleep in.
This week hasn't been too bad but I am really ready for the nausea to go. I'll take heartburn and headaches over the nausea any day.
Monday, 14 April 2014
Second confirmation scan
This afternoon was my second confirmation scan. I was so nervous about this scan, I tried to keep busy all morning but wound up just jumping from one thing to another and not accomplishing anything!
By the time Tony came home from work at midday I'd worked myself up into a mess. I'd straightened my hair but then cried because it had started to rain and that was going to make my hair frizz. Then I panicked and worried even more until I had a headache and was feeling like I was going to be sick. (I completely different type of nausea to my morning sickness).
We got to my FS's office 25 minutes early so I had time to visit the loo and wander slowly through the coffee shop downstairs. And then we waited. And waited. I can never pick it, the days I'm running late Dr S is either running early or right on time but the days I'm early he's running late.
We went in and he did the scan. I was surprised because it was an abdominal scan not transvaginal! First time in my life I've ever been grateful for having a tilted pelvis which made the scan so much easier.
I think I held my breath for the first few minutes of the scan. It was easy to see the baby shaped blob floating around but I couldn't see the heartbeat. Dr S was pointing out the bright lines which are the limbs and all I could think was "stop talking about the limbs, show me the heartbeat!"
Then, after taking a few measurements he zoomed in and pointed out the heartbeat and I started to breathe again. He hit a button and suddenly we could not only see the heartbeat but hear it. Best sound in the world.
Baby is still measuring right on track and the heart rate was 171 beats per minute. We got a few more print outs to add to our collection, Dr S took my blood pressure and then sat down to discuss the serious stuff.
He gave us our options about the first diagnostic testing. We could skip it all together, do the more traditional NT blood test and scan or the much more expensive Harmony blood test. For this test we're low risk, there's no history of Down Syndrome in either of our families, nor is there any history of the other trisomys that they test for. I'm under 35 and I've never had a miscarriage or been pregnant with a child with Down Syndrome. So we've decided to do the NT scan. He gave me the referral and the ultrasound clinic is actually only a street away from my house which is nice and close!
He also strongly recommended I get a flu shot, he likes all his expectant mothers to have one once they get past the 9 week mark (and they're free for pregnant women) but because I've already been in hospital with pnuemonia and I was 9 weeks today, he wanted me to have it done this week and before school starts back.
He also let us know that if we wanted to stay with him as our OB or swap to another OB I'd have to go back to the GP and get a pregnancy referral. I knew my GP was working late tonight so after going home for a snack we went to the GP.
I love our GP, I hate that she now works at a drop in medical centre so there's no appointments you just rock up and wait. But she is so thorough and nice. Our fertility referral also runs out this month so I could hear the concern in her voice at the start when I asked for another referral to see Dr S. But once she heard it was for pregnancy and not infertility her face broke out in a giant smile and she congratulated us.
She also gave me my flu shot. The second she tore open the alcohol swab my stomach tensed up, the smell of the swab made me brace for the sting to be in my stomach not my arm. The sting of the flu shot was nothing compared to the sting of the orgaultran. IVF has left it's mark on me, I wasn't prepared for a flu shot to make me flash back to my morning FSH and Orgalutran shots.
I've got a few weeks of no appointments, then in week 12 it's the NT scan and blood test. Week 13 is my first official OB appointment with Dr S. We meet with his midwife first and she'll go over all our hospital information and forms, then go onto our appointment with him.
In week 14 I have to book in with the hospital and also book the antenatal classes. We won't attend the classes until around week 28-32 but they fill up fast.
This is all happening, I still find it hard to believe that it's real.
By the time Tony came home from work at midday I'd worked myself up into a mess. I'd straightened my hair but then cried because it had started to rain and that was going to make my hair frizz. Then I panicked and worried even more until I had a headache and was feeling like I was going to be sick. (I completely different type of nausea to my morning sickness).
We got to my FS's office 25 minutes early so I had time to visit the loo and wander slowly through the coffee shop downstairs. And then we waited. And waited. I can never pick it, the days I'm running late Dr S is either running early or right on time but the days I'm early he's running late.
We went in and he did the scan. I was surprised because it was an abdominal scan not transvaginal! First time in my life I've ever been grateful for having a tilted pelvis which made the scan so much easier.
I think I held my breath for the first few minutes of the scan. It was easy to see the baby shaped blob floating around but I couldn't see the heartbeat. Dr S was pointing out the bright lines which are the limbs and all I could think was "stop talking about the limbs, show me the heartbeat!"
Then, after taking a few measurements he zoomed in and pointed out the heartbeat and I started to breathe again. He hit a button and suddenly we could not only see the heartbeat but hear it. Best sound in the world.
Baby is still measuring right on track and the heart rate was 171 beats per minute. We got a few more print outs to add to our collection, Dr S took my blood pressure and then sat down to discuss the serious stuff.
He gave us our options about the first diagnostic testing. We could skip it all together, do the more traditional NT blood test and scan or the much more expensive Harmony blood test. For this test we're low risk, there's no history of Down Syndrome in either of our families, nor is there any history of the other trisomys that they test for. I'm under 35 and I've never had a miscarriage or been pregnant with a child with Down Syndrome. So we've decided to do the NT scan. He gave me the referral and the ultrasound clinic is actually only a street away from my house which is nice and close!
He also strongly recommended I get a flu shot, he likes all his expectant mothers to have one once they get past the 9 week mark (and they're free for pregnant women) but because I've already been in hospital with pnuemonia and I was 9 weeks today, he wanted me to have it done this week and before school starts back.
He also let us know that if we wanted to stay with him as our OB or swap to another OB I'd have to go back to the GP and get a pregnancy referral. I knew my GP was working late tonight so after going home for a snack we went to the GP.
I love our GP, I hate that she now works at a drop in medical centre so there's no appointments you just rock up and wait. But she is so thorough and nice. Our fertility referral also runs out this month so I could hear the concern in her voice at the start when I asked for another referral to see Dr S. But once she heard it was for pregnancy and not infertility her face broke out in a giant smile and she congratulated us.
She also gave me my flu shot. The second she tore open the alcohol swab my stomach tensed up, the smell of the swab made me brace for the sting to be in my stomach not my arm. The sting of the flu shot was nothing compared to the sting of the orgaultran. IVF has left it's mark on me, I wasn't prepared for a flu shot to make me flash back to my morning FSH and Orgalutran shots.
I've got a few weeks of no appointments, then in week 12 it's the NT scan and blood test. Week 13 is my first official OB appointment with Dr S. We meet with his midwife first and she'll go over all our hospital information and forms, then go onto our appointment with him.
In week 14 I have to book in with the hospital and also book the antenatal classes. We won't attend the classes until around week 28-32 but they fill up fast.
This is all happening, I still find it hard to believe that it's real.
Sunday, 13 April 2014
Week 8
This week was the week of no energy, headaches and super greasy hair. My poor husband, last week I barely cooked a single meal, this week I got so behind on the washing he had to go searching for clean socks and work shirts most mornings.
I'm so glad that this week was school holidays, nearly every morning I woke up with a shocking headache. Then once the headache would finally go the nausea would hit. It was like being hungover after drinking far too much red wine.
I only had one really bad day nausea wise, and that was yesterday. I think the hot weather had something to do with it. It's the middle of Autumn and we're still getting the odd 31C (88F) day. Enough already! And I swear, everything my husband did made me feel worse. He has a bad habit of chewing his nails and the noise was making me dry wretch. Then when he stopped doing that he was doing some work from home and was swinging in his desk chair which made me feel even worse.
The final straw was at about 10pm at night and I finally found something to settle my stomach, iced water. I was getting the ice out of the freezer when he pushed past me and used the last of the blackcurrant cordial and took a giant handful of ice. I burst into tears. I thought he was using all the ice and that was the only thing making me feel better. After that I gave up and went to bed.
What's making me even more emotional is I feel like I can't complain about how awful I feel. I have wanted this pregnancy for so long and we went through so much to get pregnant. I feel that if I complain that makes me a hypocrite and not deserving of this pregnancy.
I also know how lucky I am not to be vomiting every day, multiple times a day. Instead I have 10-12 hours of nausea a day and food aversions to nearly everything. But at the same time I'm starving all day long but can only eat small meals or snacks.
Food wise I've been eating a lot of toast, vegemite and processed cheese slices on toast. Peanut butter on toast. Cream cheese and vegemite on cruskits (I'm sensing a theme!) Tubs of apple puree. Tiny teddy biscuits or cookie boxes from McDonalds. Small cokes from McDonalds. Fizzy fruit tingle lollies. Crisp cold apple slices. And tiny handfuls of plain potato chips.
Cooking has been a bit easier and I've cooked dinner most nights, I haven't always eaten it or I just have a tiny serve and my husband takes the leftovers to work for lunch.
I finally worked up the nerve to step on the scales and weight myself this week. I was really bloated one night and even my larger clothes weren't fitting. I was so sure I'd put on a stack of weight because I'm really only eating junk food. But I'm back down the the weight I was before I started the ivf cycle. It must just be bloat of baby which is making my clothes tighter.
Tomorrow I'm 9 weeks and I have the second confirmation scan in the afternoon with our FS. I'm so nervous about tomorrow. I'm scared it's going to be bad news. Our FS is also an OB and I really want to stay with him but I'm also worried that he might already be booked, or the hospital he delivers at will be booked out for November. I just want everything to be fine and going well.
I'm so glad that this week was school holidays, nearly every morning I woke up with a shocking headache. Then once the headache would finally go the nausea would hit. It was like being hungover after drinking far too much red wine.
I only had one really bad day nausea wise, and that was yesterday. I think the hot weather had something to do with it. It's the middle of Autumn and we're still getting the odd 31C (88F) day. Enough already! And I swear, everything my husband did made me feel worse. He has a bad habit of chewing his nails and the noise was making me dry wretch. Then when he stopped doing that he was doing some work from home and was swinging in his desk chair which made me feel even worse.
The final straw was at about 10pm at night and I finally found something to settle my stomach, iced water. I was getting the ice out of the freezer when he pushed past me and used the last of the blackcurrant cordial and took a giant handful of ice. I burst into tears. I thought he was using all the ice and that was the only thing making me feel better. After that I gave up and went to bed.
What's making me even more emotional is I feel like I can't complain about how awful I feel. I have wanted this pregnancy for so long and we went through so much to get pregnant. I feel that if I complain that makes me a hypocrite and not deserving of this pregnancy.
I also know how lucky I am not to be vomiting every day, multiple times a day. Instead I have 10-12 hours of nausea a day and food aversions to nearly everything. But at the same time I'm starving all day long but can only eat small meals or snacks.
Food wise I've been eating a lot of toast, vegemite and processed cheese slices on toast. Peanut butter on toast. Cream cheese and vegemite on cruskits (I'm sensing a theme!) Tubs of apple puree. Tiny teddy biscuits or cookie boxes from McDonalds. Small cokes from McDonalds. Fizzy fruit tingle lollies. Crisp cold apple slices. And tiny handfuls of plain potato chips.
Cooking has been a bit easier and I've cooked dinner most nights, I haven't always eaten it or I just have a tiny serve and my husband takes the leftovers to work for lunch.
I finally worked up the nerve to step on the scales and weight myself this week. I was really bloated one night and even my larger clothes weren't fitting. I was so sure I'd put on a stack of weight because I'm really only eating junk food. But I'm back down the the weight I was before I started the ivf cycle. It must just be bloat of baby which is making my clothes tighter.
Tomorrow I'm 9 weeks and I have the second confirmation scan in the afternoon with our FS. I'm so nervous about tomorrow. I'm scared it's going to be bad news. Our FS is also an OB and I really want to stay with him but I'm also worried that he might already be booked, or the hospital he delivers at will be booked out for November. I just want everything to be fine and going well.
Sunday, 6 April 2014
Week 7
Tomorrow marks week eight of pregnancy. Week seven was the week morning sickness arrived. I'd previously had a few days of feeling a bit off, but this week has been different. Ironically, it's never in the mornings. I wake up absolutely staving! But I don't feel sick or queasy until later on in the day.
If I'm a little bit late having lunch, then the nausea hits hard and fast. Even if I eat an early lunch and have snack then I still feel awful around 4pm. I don't even have to look at the clock to know it's nearly 4pm because the waves of nausea would have already let me know.
Usually a snack of cheese and jatz crackers (or cheese, olives and crackers) can make me feel better for a little while. If it doesn't make me feel better, then I'm not eating or making dinner. I just sip iced water (which is a new thing, I usually can't stand iced or cold water) and have some carrot and celery sticks for dinner. Maybe a green apple and another piece of cheese if I think I can stomach it.
For a few days hot salted chips from McDonalds and a regular coke made me feel awesome but as of Friday, that's not working. Hot chips and a regular coke has always worked for me. Post migraine haze and nausea, after anesthesia, sickness and other ickyness I've picked up from work, and even back when I drank and had a hangover it was my cure. It kind of makes me sad to know that my magic cure isn't working.
Luckily, I haven't actually thrown up. I had a close call the day my husband forgot to take the kitchen rubbish out and I had to put it down the garbage chute. I think if I didn't have such a fear of vomiting and such a strong stomach I would've been ill by now.
Oh, and I've been using sea bands for when the nausea is really bad. I don't know if they truly work, or if it's just in my mind but they do seem to help. At least they help take my mind off of feeling ick because they're ugly and itchy and I'm more focused on them they the nausea.
I did have a blissful 24 hours where I felt great this week. I'd felt awful all day, then struggled with dinner but after dinner I started to feel great! And it lasted all night, the next day I even prepared and ate a full lunch, I made my husband one of his favourite meals for dinner but then after dinner started to feel sick again. I think it's the first time since starting the shots back in Feb that I've eaten a full meal and haven't had any low level nasuea or general ickyness.
Just one week to go until the second confirmation scan! I'm really looking forward to it. I also really need the reassurance that everything is still ok.
If I'm a little bit late having lunch, then the nausea hits hard and fast. Even if I eat an early lunch and have snack then I still feel awful around 4pm. I don't even have to look at the clock to know it's nearly 4pm because the waves of nausea would have already let me know.
Usually a snack of cheese and jatz crackers (or cheese, olives and crackers) can make me feel better for a little while. If it doesn't make me feel better, then I'm not eating or making dinner. I just sip iced water (which is a new thing, I usually can't stand iced or cold water) and have some carrot and celery sticks for dinner. Maybe a green apple and another piece of cheese if I think I can stomach it.
For a few days hot salted chips from McDonalds and a regular coke made me feel awesome but as of Friday, that's not working. Hot chips and a regular coke has always worked for me. Post migraine haze and nausea, after anesthesia, sickness and other ickyness I've picked up from work, and even back when I drank and had a hangover it was my cure. It kind of makes me sad to know that my magic cure isn't working.
Luckily, I haven't actually thrown up. I had a close call the day my husband forgot to take the kitchen rubbish out and I had to put it down the garbage chute. I think if I didn't have such a fear of vomiting and such a strong stomach I would've been ill by now.
Oh, and I've been using sea bands for when the nausea is really bad. I don't know if they truly work, or if it's just in my mind but they do seem to help. At least they help take my mind off of feeling ick because they're ugly and itchy and I'm more focused on them they the nausea.
I did have a blissful 24 hours where I felt great this week. I'd felt awful all day, then struggled with dinner but after dinner I started to feel great! And it lasted all night, the next day I even prepared and ate a full lunch, I made my husband one of his favourite meals for dinner but then after dinner started to feel sick again. I think it's the first time since starting the shots back in Feb that I've eaten a full meal and haven't had any low level nasuea or general ickyness.
Just one week to go until the second confirmation scan! I'm really looking forward to it. I also really need the reassurance that everything is still ok.
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