Week 8

This week was the week of no energy, headaches and super greasy hair. My poor husband, last week I barely cooked a single meal, this week I got so behind on the washing he had to go searching for clean socks and work shirts most mornings.

I'm so glad that this week was school holidays, nearly every morning I woke up with a shocking headache. Then once the headache would finally go the nausea would hit. It was like being hungover after drinking far too much red wine.

I only had one really bad day nausea wise, and that was yesterday. I think the hot weather had something to do with it. It's the middle of Autumn and we're still getting the odd 31C (88F) day. Enough already! And I swear, everything my husband did made me feel worse. He has a bad habit of chewing his nails and the noise was making me dry wretch. Then when he stopped doing that he was doing some work from home and was swinging in his desk chair which made me feel even worse.

The final straw was at about 10pm at night and I finally found something to settle my stomach, iced water. I was getting the ice out of the freezer when he pushed past me and used the last of the blackcurrant cordial and took a giant handful of ice. I burst into tears. I thought he was using all the ice and that was the only thing making me feel better. After that I gave up and went to bed.

What's making me even more emotional is I feel like I can't complain about how awful I feel. I have wanted this pregnancy for so long and we went through so much to get pregnant. I feel that if I complain that makes me a hypocrite and not deserving of this pregnancy.

I also know how lucky I am not to be vomiting every day, multiple times a day. Instead I have 10-12 hours of nausea a day and food aversions to nearly everything. But at the same time I'm starving all day long but can only eat small meals or snacks.

Food wise I've been eating a lot of toast, vegemite and processed cheese slices on toast. Peanut butter on toast. Cream cheese and vegemite on cruskits (I'm sensing a theme!) Tubs of apple puree. Tiny teddy biscuits or cookie boxes from McDonalds. Small cokes from McDonalds. Fizzy fruit tingle lollies. Crisp cold apple slices. And tiny handfuls of plain potato chips.

Cooking has been a bit easier and I've cooked dinner most nights, I haven't always eaten it or I just have a tiny serve and my husband takes the leftovers to work for lunch.

I finally worked up the nerve to step on the scales and weight myself this week. I was really bloated one night and even my larger clothes weren't fitting. I was so sure I'd put on a stack of weight because I'm really only eating junk food. But I'm back down the the weight I was before I started the ivf cycle. It must just be bloat of baby which is making my clothes tighter.

Tomorrow I'm 9 weeks and I have the second confirmation scan in the afternoon with our FS. I'm so nervous about tomorrow. I'm scared it's going to be bad news. Our FS is also an OB and I really want to stay with him but I'm also worried that he might already be booked, or the hospital he delivers at will be booked out for November. I just want everything to be fine and going well.