I wasn't overly confident that this first iui cycle would result in pregnancy. There was just something niggling in the back of my mind. I think it was because it took me so long to actually have a good follicle.
And on the day of the IUI, my husbands sample wasn't that great. He's had a few anaylasis done, the first one his morphology count was low. The second one his morphology had improved but the overall count was low. And now the sample they used for the IUI, the count was even lower. Pre wash, it was 8 million. Post wash it was 2 million.
So I wasn't surprised at all when I got a few negative home pregnancy tests. But then on Saturday I got my usual monthly migraine. And Sunday night I had some spotting.
I went in for my beta blood work this morning and as expected it was a negative result. My progesterone was good (so it should be with the awful twice daily pessaries. So far they are the worst part of this journey for me.) and now I can stop with the pessaries and wait for my period to arrive.
The husband wanted us to take a months break, but I don't think I can do that. I just want to jump straight in and get this started.
But due to his low count, he has to do a repeat analysis this week. The nurse let me know that if it's still low again, we'll have a meeting with Dr S and discuss the next step. We could be making the jump straight to IVF or even ICSI. That is not what I wanted to hear and that news upset me. It's made me all teary, because now I have to tell my husband this.
We'd discussed doing another IUI, it hadn't even crossed our minds that we could potentially be moving onto IVF or ICSI so soon. Our fs will do up to four IUIs before he recommends moving on to IVF.
It's just thrown me. Every time I think something will be simple we get thrown for a loop and things turn out to be more complicated than we expected.
Monday, 30 September 2013
Wednesday, 25 September 2013
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Tuesday, 24 September 2013
The two week wait sucks
By nature, I'm not a very patient person but I didn't expect the two week wait to drive me this crazy!
To be honest, the first week was fine! It was also the last week of term and I was really busy with work. Saturday we had a lazy day at home, I stayed in my pjs all day but by that night I was starting to get a bit irrititable. I wanted to do something so I'd stop thinking about the beta, but I didn't want to start a new project or finish one. I had cabin fever at 8pm at night but didn't want to get out of my comfy pjs.
I don't have work to distract me because of the school holidays so I've decided that this week I'm going to stay busy and try to get out of the house most days. Yesterday it was my fathers birthday today and I'd baked him a cake so I spent most of the day up at my parents office. Last night I played around with the layouts and templates of my blogs. Something that's been on my to do list for a while now!
So far today I've spent a few hours on the phone trying to sort out a solution to dad needing a new phone. Dad drowned his iPhone 5 but doesn't want one of the new 5s or 5c. (Yes, he knows there's not much difference but he's adamant he wants "exactly the same!") No where is selling them, so what I've done is ordered mum the new iPhone 5s and dad will get her hand me down. I also bought him an otterbox case, which he should've had to begin! He's a mechanic and spends a lot of time on his boat fishing, I really thought he would've destroyed his phone at work or on the boat, but it slipped out of his pocket when he was checking the water level of the pool.
I also need to get my filthy car cleaned today. I have to drive up to Brisbane and pick up my nanna from the airport on Thursday and my car is disgusting. Salt spray, construction dust and exhaust fumes from sitting in the basement carpark. Not to mention all the wrappers inside! I think the car wash at my local shopping centre does cheap Tuesdays so I'm going to head down there and maybe watch a movie while I'm waiting.
Wednesday I'm going shopping and getting a facial. I might surprise my husband and take him out to lunch if he's not swamped at work. I need to get some photos printed too. It's been nearly five years and I still haven't given Nanna any of the professional shots from our wedding. In saying that, I've only seen Nanna twice since our wedding, she lives in South Australia and I'm in Queensland. I should've made a trip down there to see her last year, but I had a few expensive vet bills to pay from when my littlest had surgery and I just couldn't afford it.
Thursday is Nanna day! My cousin was going to pick her up from the airport, but the air con in his car isn't working and it's meant to get up to 37c (99f) out where mum and dad live.
Friday I'm going to be baking for the big family barbecue on Saturday. It's Nanna's 80th birthday on Saturday and she loves cheesecake. So I'm going to make her one, I'm also going to make mini pavlovas because there are some strange people in my family who don't like cheesecake. And probably some lemon butter with the left over egg yolks.
Saturday is barbecue day! I'm counting on lots of family craziness to keep me distracted. Sunday we might go up and spend the day with my family again or we might stay home. It just depends on how Nannas feeling. If she's too tired and overwhelmed we'll stay away and find something to do at home.
Maybe we can go out for lunch and catch a movie. Or tackle cleaning out the spare room. Something to keep nice and busy!
To be honest, the first week was fine! It was also the last week of term and I was really busy with work. Saturday we had a lazy day at home, I stayed in my pjs all day but by that night I was starting to get a bit irrititable. I wanted to do something so I'd stop thinking about the beta, but I didn't want to start a new project or finish one. I had cabin fever at 8pm at night but didn't want to get out of my comfy pjs.
I don't have work to distract me because of the school holidays so I've decided that this week I'm going to stay busy and try to get out of the house most days. Yesterday it was my fathers birthday today and I'd baked him a cake so I spent most of the day up at my parents office. Last night I played around with the layouts and templates of my blogs. Something that's been on my to do list for a while now!
So far today I've spent a few hours on the phone trying to sort out a solution to dad needing a new phone. Dad drowned his iPhone 5 but doesn't want one of the new 5s or 5c. (Yes, he knows there's not much difference but he's adamant he wants "exactly the same!") No where is selling them, so what I've done is ordered mum the new iPhone 5s and dad will get her hand me down. I also bought him an otterbox case, which he should've had to begin! He's a mechanic and spends a lot of time on his boat fishing, I really thought he would've destroyed his phone at work or on the boat, but it slipped out of his pocket when he was checking the water level of the pool.
I also need to get my filthy car cleaned today. I have to drive up to Brisbane and pick up my nanna from the airport on Thursday and my car is disgusting. Salt spray, construction dust and exhaust fumes from sitting in the basement carpark. Not to mention all the wrappers inside! I think the car wash at my local shopping centre does cheap Tuesdays so I'm going to head down there and maybe watch a movie while I'm waiting.
Wednesday I'm going shopping and getting a facial. I might surprise my husband and take him out to lunch if he's not swamped at work. I need to get some photos printed too. It's been nearly five years and I still haven't given Nanna any of the professional shots from our wedding. In saying that, I've only seen Nanna twice since our wedding, she lives in South Australia and I'm in Queensland. I should've made a trip down there to see her last year, but I had a few expensive vet bills to pay from when my littlest had surgery and I just couldn't afford it.
Thursday is Nanna day! My cousin was going to pick her up from the airport, but the air con in his car isn't working and it's meant to get up to 37c (99f) out where mum and dad live.
Friday I'm going to be baking for the big family barbecue on Saturday. It's Nanna's 80th birthday on Saturday and she loves cheesecake. So I'm going to make her one, I'm also going to make mini pavlovas because there are some strange people in my family who don't like cheesecake. And probably some lemon butter with the left over egg yolks.
Saturday is barbecue day! I'm counting on lots of family craziness to keep me distracted. Sunday we might go up and spend the day with my family again or we might stay home. It just depends on how Nannas feeling. If she's too tired and overwhelmed we'll stay away and find something to do at home.
Maybe we can go out for lunch and catch a movie. Or tackle cleaning out the spare room. Something to keep nice and busy!
Monday, 16 September 2013
An update and our first IUI
So last Wednesday morning I had a super early ultrasound and blood test. I dragged the husband along with me, just in case Dr S was going to cancel the cycle. He was optimistic and said that my lining had grown and the lead follicle looked good. And that afternoon the nurse called me saying my numbers were 368. A nice improvement from the weekend!
Thursday I went in for another blood test and my numbers were rising nicely, so Friday morning I did the trigger shot! And that thing hurt like a bitch. The actual needle going in hurt and then when the medication went in it hurt even more, it was like a giant bee sting. The injection site stayed red and swollen for hours. And that afternoon I had waves of nausea and hot flushes. It was not nice at all!
Our iui was scheduled for 8am Saturday morning, on the weekends it's usually the on call doctor that does the iui but Dr S was consulting that morning so he came over in between appointments to do the iui, instead of Dr C who was on call.
I was really anxious, we were running late on Saturday to drop off the husbands sample. Nothing makes me more anxious than being late. When we went back for the iui I was a bit of a mess. I couldn't sit still and was making my husband a bit crazy. Plus the room we were in was hot which was making me feel worse.
Our nurse was working that Saturday too so she came in to assist Dr S. I don't like our nurse, she's overly chatting which irritates me. She also lied to me and said that the trigger shot would not hurt at all, it'd be just like the Gonal F and I'd barely feel it. When we first met with her, I asked if the iui would hurt or be uncomfortable she'd told me that it was just like having a pap smear. I have no problem with pap smears so I wasn't worried.
But she was wrong, that iui hurt. It was so uncomfortable I found myself holding my breath while tears welled up in my eyes. Dr S was asking her for something because my cervix was tilted and not co-operating but she was too busy trying to talk to me to listen to him so I was laying there while he asked her repeatedly to hand him things. Which made the procedure a few seconds (but felt like minutes or hours!) longer than it should have been. I had my husband there to hold my hand, I really just wanted her to do her job, not try and talk to me and distract me!
Once it was over I stayed laying down for 10 mins then we left. I dropped the husband off at work and went home to relax.
And now we wait. I have the unpleasant progestrone pessaries to do morning and night and a date for the beta blood test on the 30th September.
Thursday I went in for another blood test and my numbers were rising nicely, so Friday morning I did the trigger shot! And that thing hurt like a bitch. The actual needle going in hurt and then when the medication went in it hurt even more, it was like a giant bee sting. The injection site stayed red and swollen for hours. And that afternoon I had waves of nausea and hot flushes. It was not nice at all!
Our iui was scheduled for 8am Saturday morning, on the weekends it's usually the on call doctor that does the iui but Dr S was consulting that morning so he came over in between appointments to do the iui, instead of Dr C who was on call.
I was really anxious, we were running late on Saturday to drop off the husbands sample. Nothing makes me more anxious than being late. When we went back for the iui I was a bit of a mess. I couldn't sit still and was making my husband a bit crazy. Plus the room we were in was hot which was making me feel worse.
Our nurse was working that Saturday too so she came in to assist Dr S. I don't like our nurse, she's overly chatting which irritates me. She also lied to me and said that the trigger shot would not hurt at all, it'd be just like the Gonal F and I'd barely feel it. When we first met with her, I asked if the iui would hurt or be uncomfortable she'd told me that it was just like having a pap smear. I have no problem with pap smears so I wasn't worried.
But she was wrong, that iui hurt. It was so uncomfortable I found myself holding my breath while tears welled up in my eyes. Dr S was asking her for something because my cervix was tilted and not co-operating but she was too busy trying to talk to me to listen to him so I was laying there while he asked her repeatedly to hand him things. Which made the procedure a few seconds (but felt like minutes or hours!) longer than it should have been. I had my husband there to hold my hand, I really just wanted her to do her job, not try and talk to me and distract me!
Once it was over I stayed laying down for 10 mins then we left. I dropped the husband off at work and went home to relax.
And now we wait. I have the unpleasant progestrone pessaries to do morning and night and a date for the beta blood test on the 30th September.
Sunday, 8 September 2013
Even lower
Shortly after I blogged yesterday the nurse rang me back with my estrogen levels. They were even lower than Fridays. Ugh. So low that that were pretty much the same as my CD 10 levels, I can't remember the exact number but it was in the mid 100's. They're not meant to be getting lower, but getting higher!
The nurse told me she'd already consulted with the on call FS, Dr F, and seeing that it's my first cycle he'd advised her to call my FS, Dr S. She was going to wait until Dr S got in touch and then she'd call or text me with what to do next. If it was to up my dosage of Gonal F or if it was a cancelled cycle. She warned that it's often hard to get in touch with the doctors if they're not on call so I might not hear from her until late in the afternoon or early evening.
But a short time later she rang me back, I'm to up my dosage from 50 to 75 for the next few days. Then on Wednesday I've got a scan and appointment with Dr S.
While it's good to hear the advice from the nurses and their opinions, on Friday afternoon when I heard my levels weren't climbing like they should be, all I wanted was to talk to Dr S and hear what he has to say.
Dr S has a very calm and professional manner. He's very thorough with all the testing and preparations but at the same time he's conservative in his treatments. He also has a lot of faith in what works and what doesn't. So to hear that he'd said that I'm to increase my dosage and have a repeat scan on Wednesday gives me a tiny little bit of hope for this cycle.
I'm still expecting him to cancel the cycle on Wednesday and call this cycle a test run with gonal f. But giving me a few more days on a higher dose makes me feel that we'll have given it a good shot and we haven't cancelled at the first sign of things not going the way they should.
The nurse told me she'd already consulted with the on call FS, Dr F, and seeing that it's my first cycle he'd advised her to call my FS, Dr S. She was going to wait until Dr S got in touch and then she'd call or text me with what to do next. If it was to up my dosage of Gonal F or if it was a cancelled cycle. She warned that it's often hard to get in touch with the doctors if they're not on call so I might not hear from her until late in the afternoon or early evening.
But a short time later she rang me back, I'm to up my dosage from 50 to 75 for the next few days. Then on Wednesday I've got a scan and appointment with Dr S.
While it's good to hear the advice from the nurses and their opinions, on Friday afternoon when I heard my levels weren't climbing like they should be, all I wanted was to talk to Dr S and hear what he has to say.
Dr S has a very calm and professional manner. He's very thorough with all the testing and preparations but at the same time he's conservative in his treatments. He also has a lot of faith in what works and what doesn't. So to hear that he'd said that I'm to increase my dosage and have a repeat scan on Wednesday gives me a tiny little bit of hope for this cycle.
I'm still expecting him to cancel the cycle on Wednesday and call this cycle a test run with gonal f. But giving me a few more days on a higher dose makes me feel that we'll have given it a good shot and we haven't cancelled at the first sign of things not going the way they should.
Saturday, 7 September 2013
Rollercoaster
Friday morning I had my scan for follicles and to check the thickness of my lining. The ultrasound was great, my lining was at 9 and the doctor said that spot on for where it should be. My left ovary had two follicles, one at 1.5 and the other at 1.8, even more good news!
I then went had had my blood taken and spoke to the nurse. She was happy with what the scan results! My clinic likes to trigger when a follicle gets to 1.9 so I was super close. She gave me the little cooler pack with my trigger shot to take home and said that she'd call me with my estrogen levels in a few hours and that I'd either be triggering Friday night or Sunday night. (My clinic isn't open on Sundays)
But then that afternoon she rang with not so good news. My estrogen levels were still low, 273 when the should be getting close to 500 by this stage. Not good, she warned me that with my estrogen levels this low it could go two ways. Either my estrogen levels will catch up over the weekend and we do the trigger and IUI early next week or this cycle will be cancelled. I got off the phone to her and cried. That morning I'd rung my husband at work with good news and warned him that he might have to go to his guys weekend a bit late because we might be doing the IUI Saturday morning. Now I had to call him back and tell him that it's ok, go to the guys weekend because this isn't going to plan. It was just so disappointing and so sad.
So the nurse booked me into the clinic for more blood work this morning and I got up at stupid o'clock, drank a litre of water (my veins are shocking, water plus something sweet makes blood tests so much easier) and drove down to the fertility clinic. Not only is the waiting room absolutely packed but a woman and her husband decided it was a smart idea to bring their 2 year old along for their appointment. Ugh. Really? There are beautiful parks all around the hospital grounds where the clinic is. Not to mention a coffee shop just next door. Your husband couldn't have taken your daughter for a walk for a few minutes?
The poor woman who came in after me, signed in, saw this little girl playing, took some tissues and walked out into the lobby to wait.
The nurse who took my blood explained that my estrogen level doesn't match up with either follicle. So they're not quite sure what's going on. It could be that the large follicle is empty and doesn't have an egg. Or it could be that my estrogen levels just take a bit longer to catch up.
And now I'm waiting for this afternoons phone call. I've tried to keep busy so I don't just sit around and stare at my phone. After I left the clinic I got something to eat and went to vote (It's our Federal Election this weekend in Australia) then drove a few suburbs over to the big home improvement store.
When I got the phone call yesterday I decided I'd need to keep busy. I wasn't sure if I was going to paint over the ugly olive green feature walls in our entry way, or buy some potting mix and seedlings. I wound up going with seedlings to redo our balcony pot plants. Once the sun is off the balcony I'll head outside and plant them all.
And I found some movie vouchers in the husbands desk drawer, so tonight I'll go and see a movie so I'm not sitting at home worrying about everything.
I just can't get over the rollercoaster of emotions. From Yay! Here's your trigger shot we'll call you with a time. To sorry, not looking good, you need to be aware that this cycle could be cancelled. From a high to a low in just a few short hours.
I then went had had my blood taken and spoke to the nurse. She was happy with what the scan results! My clinic likes to trigger when a follicle gets to 1.9 so I was super close. She gave me the little cooler pack with my trigger shot to take home and said that she'd call me with my estrogen levels in a few hours and that I'd either be triggering Friday night or Sunday night. (My clinic isn't open on Sundays)
But then that afternoon she rang with not so good news. My estrogen levels were still low, 273 when the should be getting close to 500 by this stage. Not good, she warned me that with my estrogen levels this low it could go two ways. Either my estrogen levels will catch up over the weekend and we do the trigger and IUI early next week or this cycle will be cancelled. I got off the phone to her and cried. That morning I'd rung my husband at work with good news and warned him that he might have to go to his guys weekend a bit late because we might be doing the IUI Saturday morning. Now I had to call him back and tell him that it's ok, go to the guys weekend because this isn't going to plan. It was just so disappointing and so sad.
So the nurse booked me into the clinic for more blood work this morning and I got up at stupid o'clock, drank a litre of water (my veins are shocking, water plus something sweet makes blood tests so much easier) and drove down to the fertility clinic. Not only is the waiting room absolutely packed but a woman and her husband decided it was a smart idea to bring their 2 year old along for their appointment. Ugh. Really? There are beautiful parks all around the hospital grounds where the clinic is. Not to mention a coffee shop just next door. Your husband couldn't have taken your daughter for a walk for a few minutes?
The poor woman who came in after me, signed in, saw this little girl playing, took some tissues and walked out into the lobby to wait.
The nurse who took my blood explained that my estrogen level doesn't match up with either follicle. So they're not quite sure what's going on. It could be that the large follicle is empty and doesn't have an egg. Or it could be that my estrogen levels just take a bit longer to catch up.
And now I'm waiting for this afternoons phone call. I've tried to keep busy so I don't just sit around and stare at my phone. After I left the clinic I got something to eat and went to vote (It's our Federal Election this weekend in Australia) then drove a few suburbs over to the big home improvement store.
When I got the phone call yesterday I decided I'd need to keep busy. I wasn't sure if I was going to paint over the ugly olive green feature walls in our entry way, or buy some potting mix and seedlings. I wound up going with seedlings to redo our balcony pot plants. Once the sun is off the balcony I'll head outside and plant them all.
And I found some movie vouchers in the husbands desk drawer, so tonight I'll go and see a movie so I'm not sitting at home worrying about everything.
I just can't get over the rollercoaster of emotions. From Yay! Here's your trigger shot we'll call you with a time. To sorry, not looking good, you need to be aware that this cycle could be cancelled. From a high to a low in just a few short hours.
Thursday, 5 September 2013
Disappointing.
I had my blood test done yesterday to check on my estrogen levels. Yesterday was cycle day 10 and the 9th day of being on Gonal F. I was having a lot of anxiety over this blood test, I've had no symptoms or side effects at all. Usually in the lead up to ovulation I get a headache, a break out and I get ovulation pains, but I've had none of that.
I also was a bit anxious about seeing the nurse who's been assigned to us. She really doesn't have a great bedside manner and she can be quite patronising. She's also very chatty, which is ok, but it means our appointments run long because she's spent 15mins just talking at us about unrelated topics. "Oh, your last name is M**, do you know a Peter M** who is a nurse at -hospital in another state-? I worked with him for years. What about Ann M** who works at -nearby public hospital-?" Keep in mind our surname is quite common and not at all unusual. I don't like it when she does that, it makes me forget the questions I wanted to ask and I find it harder to remember the information she's given us.
But this time my nurse was busy so I saw the nurse manager, her name is also Donna. She was chatty, but straight to the point! I asked her the questions I had, she took my blood and it was a 5 min appointment.
She rang me later that afternoon with not so great news. Ideally they like to see my estrogen level heading up towards the 300-400 mark. And once it gets there, then they do daily blood tests to check that the levels are climbing and then eventually the IUI. But right now it's at 130.
I was quite disappointed. I know I'm on a low dose of Gonal F, but I kind of had faith that after 9 days of injections my body would've actually done something right for once. The nurse manager must've been able to hear the disappointment in my voice when I asked what we do next. She wants me to have more blood work again on Friday and she gave me the option of having a scan as well.
The only thing is, is that Dr S isn't working this Friday so it would have to the other FS he works with Dr B. I've never met Dr B before, but while I was waiting in pre-op to have my Lap back in July, the women in the bed next to me was having a lap by Dr B and she raved about both him and Dr S.
Dr S and Dr B share a office suite and nurse so I've seen him walk through and talk to other patients while I've been waiting to see Dr S. It's a strange set up, their suite is right next door to the fertility clinic. The fertility clinic has the lab, the embryologists and nurses rooms. There's also a few other doctors on that floor who work with the fertility clinic too.
I don't really mind which doctor does my scan, so I said I'd rather have a scan as well as a blood tests just so we know fully what's going on.
I know this first cycle was always going to be a sort of a test cycle, to see how my body reacted to the medications. This is a bit of a let down. I thought the whole point of going straight to injectables was to shorten my cycle and make this all happen faster. But the way it's going, it looks like I'm going to have another stupidly long cycle, only this time I get the added bonus of doing a shot every morning, blood tests and scans to make it seem even longer.
The worst thing is, while I'm fretting and worrying about the blood test and scan tomorrow morning, my husband will be away watching the final football game of the season. And he's not going to be home this weekend either to distract me, he's off to a weekend of computer games at a LAN.
I also was a bit anxious about seeing the nurse who's been assigned to us. She really doesn't have a great bedside manner and she can be quite patronising. She's also very chatty, which is ok, but it means our appointments run long because she's spent 15mins just talking at us about unrelated topics. "Oh, your last name is M**, do you know a Peter M** who is a nurse at -hospital in another state-? I worked with him for years. What about Ann M** who works at -nearby public hospital-?" Keep in mind our surname is quite common and not at all unusual. I don't like it when she does that, it makes me forget the questions I wanted to ask and I find it harder to remember the information she's given us.
But this time my nurse was busy so I saw the nurse manager, her name is also Donna. She was chatty, but straight to the point! I asked her the questions I had, she took my blood and it was a 5 min appointment.
She rang me later that afternoon with not so great news. Ideally they like to see my estrogen level heading up towards the 300-400 mark. And once it gets there, then they do daily blood tests to check that the levels are climbing and then eventually the IUI. But right now it's at 130.
I was quite disappointed. I know I'm on a low dose of Gonal F, but I kind of had faith that after 9 days of injections my body would've actually done something right for once. The nurse manager must've been able to hear the disappointment in my voice when I asked what we do next. She wants me to have more blood work again on Friday and she gave me the option of having a scan as well.
The only thing is, is that Dr S isn't working this Friday so it would have to the other FS he works with Dr B. I've never met Dr B before, but while I was waiting in pre-op to have my Lap back in July, the women in the bed next to me was having a lap by Dr B and she raved about both him and Dr S.
Dr S and Dr B share a office suite and nurse so I've seen him walk through and talk to other patients while I've been waiting to see Dr S. It's a strange set up, their suite is right next door to the fertility clinic. The fertility clinic has the lab, the embryologists and nurses rooms. There's also a few other doctors on that floor who work with the fertility clinic too.
I don't really mind which doctor does my scan, so I said I'd rather have a scan as well as a blood tests just so we know fully what's going on.
I know this first cycle was always going to be a sort of a test cycle, to see how my body reacted to the medications. This is a bit of a let down. I thought the whole point of going straight to injectables was to shorten my cycle and make this all happen faster. But the way it's going, it looks like I'm going to have another stupidly long cycle, only this time I get the added bonus of doing a shot every morning, blood tests and scans to make it seem even longer.
The worst thing is, while I'm fretting and worrying about the blood test and scan tomorrow morning, my husband will be away watching the final football game of the season. And he's not going to be home this weekend either to distract me, he's off to a weekend of computer games at a LAN.
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