Progesterone is probably the worst part of the cycle for me. I hate it. I have the waxy pessaries (suppositories) which I do nightly. Last cycle it was morning and night, so this cycle it's not as bad. But it still isn't a pleasant experience, it's a bit gross and it makes me pretty uncomfortable.
Progesterone gives me more side effects than any thing else. The fsh made me a bit weepy and the trigger shot left a red welt and gave me a hot flash and wave of nausea but that was only one day.
But progesterone? It makes me weepy and teary but it also makes me feel depressed, I just can't see anything positive through the progesterone funk. It makes me bloated and I retain water, and my boobs hurt, so much! Sore boobs have always been a part of pms for me, but this is so.much.worse. Oh, and the night sweats suck. I live on the east coast of Australia and it's well and Spring is well and truly here. We've already had a few days of 30c (86f) weather and night sweats are awful on those hot humid nights.
The worst side effect would be the vivid dreams. Sometimes they're pleasant dreams, other times they've been borderline nightmares. But it's the dreams like the one I had last night that I could really do without.
Since we've been ttc and since we've started down the infertility journey I've had a few pregnancy related dreams. Usually they're about holding my newborn son (it's always a son, never a daughter) or pushing a baby in a pram and occasionally they're about being heavily pregnant. But last night was the first time I've had a dream about getting a positive pregnancy test.
The silly thing is, I know what triggered this dream. Before I went to bed, I got opened the box of pregnancy tests I bought during the week and set one on the sink. Today is 11dpo, it's early but I've got a box of 3 tests and thought I'd take one anyway.
My dream was so real, it was in my bathroom with the same type of tests that I'd bought. The exact same clutter was on the sink and everything. In my dream those two pink lines came up straight away and were dark pink lines. I then woke up my husband to show him the test.
Then I woke up and it was 6am. Of course I went and took the test and of course it was negative. I know it could just be too early. My beta isn't until Thursday when I'll be 15dpo. But chances are highly likely that it's negative because I'm not pregnant.
And if I'm not pregnant then we need to have the talk about moving onto IVF+ICSI. Not just with the clinic but with each other. So far any mention of moving on has caused me to burst into tears. And we need to find a minimum of $10,000 for it. And we need to work out the timing of it. If we rush our clinic can fit in one cycle before they close for the Christmas break, or it's a matter of waiting until mid to late January to get started.
Ugh, all this triggered by one very vivid progesterone fueled dream.
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